Tess asked:
I’m Mexican-Brazilian- American, he’s African American. He’s a great person, fun, encouraging and quite a joy to have around. He’s made it crystal clear that he is interested. I’ve set my boundaries by not being alone with him, he does not have my number…i treat him the same way i treat my guy friends…and i make sure to call him that, too…a great friend. i’m afraid of ultimately damaging our friendship (which is very important to me) Any suggestions as to how I should confront him? We work together. Please try to be as sensitive as possible when answering this question, thank you!
I’m Mexican-Brazilian- American, he’s African American. He’s a great person, fun, encouraging and quite a joy to have around. He’s made it crystal clear that he is interested. I’ve set my boundaries by not being alone with him, he does not have my number…i treat him the same way i treat my guy friends…and i make sure to call him that, too…a great friend. i’m afraid of ultimately damaging our friendship (which is very important to me) Any suggestions as to how I should confront him? We work together. Please try to be as sensitive as possible when answering this question, thank you!
Its painful but men appreciate honesty- just tell him he is a really good friend and that is how you want it to stay.
BTW, your both Americans, enough with that crazy hyphenated stuff.
Well, it sounds like you value his friendship. These days it’s hard to make true friends. You see, that’s a strength. Being a good/close friend you should be able to confront the other person with the truth and if they’re truly a good friend then they will respect that and not get upset.
Since you work with him, I believe that the workplace is not to do it. Do it in a setting where you both can be open and honest with each other. You should also think about doing it a setting where your conversation won’t get distracted.
As to HOW to confront him? You seem like a very genuine person and I think you’ll find it within yourself to naturally come up with a way to start the conversation. In fact, this conversation may prove that your friendship is just that strong and may even build a stronger and closer friendship. However, if he reacts in a way that’s hurtful to you, than youmay want to reconsider how much of a good friend he REALLY is to you.
I wish you well.