Bex asked:
They don’t support the BNP or NF or anything like that but they always say things like paki shop, and make references to asian familys smelling and things and they’ve said in the past that they dont agree in mixed race relationships and they talk about Indian people coming here with their aunties and cousins and cousins friends etc and all living in one house. Oh god and once they tried to do the accent and my dad was pretening to be a bus driver and was like bud bud ding ding two ninety nine….anyways you get the picture.
Anyways i moved to London from Newcastle last year and i met my man who i love love love. My parents don’t know about him, he knows about my parents and isnt bothered, he actually laughed when i told him about my dad doing the bus driver thing and he always says paki himself lol. We’ve been living together since March and my parents don’t even know im with the guy.
Should i just tell them? I’d just be so embarrassed if they made a big fuss.
They don’t support the BNP or NF or anything like that but they always say things like paki shop, and make references to asian familys smelling and things and they’ve said in the past that they dont agree in mixed race relationships and they talk about Indian people coming here with their aunties and cousins and cousins friends etc and all living in one house. Oh god and once they tried to do the accent and my dad was pretening to be a bus driver and was like bud bud ding ding two ninety nine….anyways you get the picture.
Anyways i moved to London from Newcastle last year and i met my man who i love love love. My parents don’t know about him, he knows about my parents and isnt bothered, he actually laughed when i told him about my dad doing the bus driver thing and he always says paki himself lol. We’ve been living together since March and my parents don’t even know im with the guy.
Should i just tell them? I’d just be so embarrassed if they made a big fuss.
I wouldn’t. Why upset them until you have to. You might break up with him. I am sure his parents won’t be happy either.
Just tell them. It’s ur life not theirs. They will have to accept it eventually. And even if they don’t what can they do? No offense but ur parents seem ignorant
What was the number of the bus?
If youre old enough and mature enough to live with a man for six months you are mature enough to tell them like it is.
lol listen to your parents..mixed race is wrong,it causes inbreeding and illnesses that are incurable
Your parents are probably not ****** just ignorant. In india there is a real problem with race, there is a cast system so is why your bf is not too shocked about it. Tell you parents that he is a nice man and is looking after you.x
First of all, congrats on being in love love love
I think it might do your family the world of good to know about your and your man! It migt make them realise, that these people they’re making fun of, are of course human too! And it might make them respect other races more!
Good Luck with everything!
xxx
you should tell them. there is no easy way to do it either, you just have to be honest with them. they may take time to get used to the idea but if they love you they will understand that you love this man no matter what his race.
tell them,take him to meet them or invite your parents down to yours,I’m sure if both parties are down to earth people they will get along just fine.a few jokes wont hurt.
and if they love you I’m sure they wont be bothered wether your man is an indian,african,martian or any other race
I think the best way to handle your situation may be to just tell your parents you have a boyfriend and arrange aa day when they are in to take him over to meet them, so what if his indian i find them very attractive.
You should tell them as soon as possible. We are only as sick as our secrets.
Their racism is their problem. Don’t make it yours or your boyfriend’s. Tell them and put the ball in their court.
They may make a fuss, using other things as their reason for not approving (if they don’t) of the relationship IE you keeping it a secret or simply not liking the idea of you shacking up with a guy.
Remind them that you are an adult and that you are responsible for the decisions you make, not them. You would much like a good relationship with them, but will not tolerate racism in your life…even from your parents. They either behave respectfully, or they will be dismissed. The choice is theirs. They do not have to change their views, but MUST change their behavior.
Hmm…
I’m not sure how to answer this question. My mother is from India and my father is English, and they had the same problem. However, despite being coloured myself (obviously!), I have so far managed to avoid women with ****** parents, so I have never been in this situation myself.
I think you should discuss the matter with your boyfriend and come to a decision together. For example, if I was in a relationship with a girl, and she told me her parents were racist, I wouldn’t exactly jump in the car and say ‘Let’s go and see them right now!’. I’ve experienced racism before and I can assure you, it’s not something you willingly risk exposing yourself to. However, if your boyfriend actually wants to meet them, then the situation is different. You really need to put the question to him and find out what he thinks.
You’re living away from home and making a life for yourself and this is good. You’re still your parents’ daughter though and I think you should keep them in the picture; surely the fact that you haven’t told them is preventing you from being one hundred percent happy. It would be better for them to hear the news directly from you, rather than through a friend or acquaintance. (The world’s a small place!). They may be shocked at first, but if you make it clear that you’re very happy, they should be accepting. If you love him, introducing him to your parents should be the next step to aim for; after that, it’s up to them.
MOM AND DAD DID YOU EVER SEE THE FILM GUESS WHOS COMING TO DINNER………………..
TELL THEM MY DEAR ITS YOUR LIFE AND HAPPINESS
Parents are always going to fuss because they think they know what is best for you.
You’re an adult, so their opinion truly is no longer valued. Date him regardless of what your parents think.
You pays your money and you takes your choice. It really depends on how strong your feelings are for each other. You don’t give your age. if you are adult enough to know your own mind. It’s a straight choice between your boyfriend or you’re home life. It is important to acknowledge that cultures are different and have different priorities regarding females. Ask yourself, How does his folk feel. Has he told ‘em? If the answer is Yes… Has he asked that you meet them. If not, why not?
Is he prepared to accept your culture or are you prepared to accept his culture? I’m sorry to say that the two rarely mix well. If all the above works for you both. Find a time when your mother and father are in a good mood and tell them. If all else fails it shouldn’t matter between you and yours. Offer to let him visit for them to see for themselves.
you made a choice, live with it. Tell them and they will make a choice.
Good luck to you both. I married an African lady who is half my age whilst in Kenya 2 years ago and my life is re-born. Fortunately all my family have been brill but I would have done it anyway. Be true to yourself your boyfriend but send your folks a letter perhaps with pictures then stand back wait for the **** to settle. If your folks love you they will come around and if not follow your heart.
Tell them only when you are sure that he is going to marry you. You don’t want to ruin your relationship with your parents today and only do you find that your bf actually is not going to marry you. You go against your parents’ will only if your bf worths your effort, but before you know that, wait until you are sure.
Tell them and say its up to them to accept your choice and be mature and adult about it or to throw their toys out of the pram and risk losing contact with you.
Its their call.
My hubby’s grandma didn’t like the fact that I’m older than him. She refused to meet me and when I got pregnant said I hope she loses it and refused to have anything to do with our son. Fair enough. My hubby has disowned her and won’t ever see her again. She has chosen to be a lonely old hag and its her own choice. Noone forced it on her. When I think of how many lonely old people would love to have a family to keep in contact and visit them it makes me very sad that this evil witch would do this.
But some people are just like that.
Well, you will have to eventually.
I doubt your parents would say anything in front of him, but they may behind his back. Just tell them whatever they say to you about him, you will let him know about it. That may get them to stop.
If that’s too confrontational, then you’ll just have to put up with your parents making fun of your man. Who cares? When you marry you move out anyway.