I didn’t do anything to upset my ex that I’m aware of. Last time we talked (6 weeks ago) things seemed amicable/agreeable.
I told him I was starting the local nursing program and that I would really appreciate his help over the first 6 weeks as this is the intense phase of the program. He’s presently unemployed because he got fired from his job for being late all the time (after working there for 7 years) and he said no problem and that he’d love to see our son as much as possible.
He helped somewhat over the summer but was very unreliable, was hardly on time, sometimes wouldn’t show up at all. Then the last week of summer he helped out and watched him while I worked. He apologized for his inconsistency, said he understood the importance of being there for our son and said he wanted to see him 4 days a week (during the day).
After that I never heard from him. It’s been 6 weeks, he’s unemployed, lives less than a mile away from us and I’ve seen him driving around town with friends of his.
I don’t want to call him because I’m frustrated and I don’t feel like I should have to.
We have no court agreement because after HE left he said he hoped we could be like Bruce Willis and Demi Moore and co-parent amicably and keep things between us. He said he wanted to keep everything out of the courts and just deal with one another. And yet he does this sort of stuff.
How would you deal with him?
I would go get a court agreement because obviously he can’t keep his job he is showing that that he is unreliable with the child support so don’t let him make you feel bad you do what you gotta do for you and your son. It sounds to me like he has an alcohol problem or a drug addiction for sure!
Do you really want your son hanging out with him in the first place?
He sounds immature. Just call him and see what’s up–no need to play hard to get if you’re curious about him.
Of course he tells you he wants to keep it out of the courts. Duh. Wake up. He can come and go as he pleases, not pay money and whatever else he is pulling. It’s not fair to your child, because he is threatening your future earning power. You need to strong and put your foot down. Don’t let ego get in the way. He has a responsibility.
Hunny, talking helps all things. Sitting down and discussing things go a long way. If you think that drugs are in the mix, your son should be your only thought.
CC,You sound exactly like what I went through 13 years ago. Girl believe me I know how frustrated the you are feeling and will tell you this he is self centered,only out for himself and his selfish needs.Ignore him and do what that you feel that you need to do in order for you and your son as well as your education.He is only focused on his selfishness and has no respect nor regards for you or your son.Hope that I have helped you and good luck to you and your son,you are apparently in this alone and remember I do care and hope that I have helped in some way. It took me years to come to terms with my selfish ex. Whatever that you decide please for you as well as your son’s future. It is apparent that your ex is a deadbeat. Good luck and God bless you and your son.
Tell him that even Bruce and Demi went to court. SHE has physical custody of the children but she gives him more than the court ordered visitation because she knows her children will be better off if both parents focus on their children. Just because they work together at raising their children doesn’t mean they don’t have their differences. Your ex doesn’t want to go to court because he knows he’ll have to pay child support. (by the way so does Bruce). If it were me I would have been in court long before this filing for child support.