Jessibear asked:
My daughter is only 14. I got a call from the principle yesterday telling me that she was caught in the boy’s bathroom making out with a young boy her age. Now, of course i want whats best for my child, i want to teach her to respect her body and be careful of the activities she allows herself to be a part of, the consequences of what might happen and what she should have done differently so she can learn from her mistakes. But the thing is, i wasnt raised in a proper society so i do not know what to tell her and i dont want to convince her that wrong is right so does any other parent have any advice?
okay. yes ground her..but i cant only ground her, i need to tell her what to do, give her morals. Grounding her isnt going to be enough
My daughter is only 14. I got a call from the principle yesterday telling me that she was caught in the boy’s bathroom making out with a young boy her age. Now, of course i want whats best for my child, i want to teach her to respect her body and be careful of the activities she allows herself to be a part of, the consequences of what might happen and what she should have done differently so she can learn from her mistakes. But the thing is, i wasnt raised in a proper society so i do not know what to tell her and i dont want to convince her that wrong is right so does any other parent have any advice?
okay. yes ground her..but i cant only ground her, i need to tell her what to do, give her morals. Grounding her isnt going to be enough
The thing about respect is:
If you do not have respect for yourself, neither will anyone else.
simply tell her GOD gave her her body and she should respect her body and wait for some one that if a consequence did happen, she could deal with that person the rest of her life. she should wait for someone whom she realy cares about, and visaversa to be intimate. blessings
All you can do is tell her – What about her dad – is she afraid of disappointing him? Keep talking – take away her privileges so that she’ll know that your serious.
Don’t forget to tell her the bad consequences of going to far – pregnancy, std’s – both curable and incurable. My son is only 11 and I talk to him about everything!
You should of started teaching her when she was younger now it’s going to be harder and yes tell her all the things you have mentioned let her know that boys talk and maybe later other girls and boys from her school are going to call her a **** and that you don’t want that to happened to her.
I say that grounding is not going to effect her. You should ***** her, so that the slight sting will remind her that this is not exceptable and will never be.
It sounds like there may be a root to this problem. You should try to find out WHY she behaves that way.
Does she feel unaccepted or unvalued at home? (No offense…) Try talking to her on her level. Ask why she does certain things and how they make her feel. Ask what she thinks she could do to feel the same way, but by doing things that wont get her in trouble. Maybe if she joined some clubs, either at school or got involved in the community somehow she would feel better about herself and the rest would fall into place.
Honey, you should have asked this question 14 years ago.
Society today is so focused on sex, it’s a battle between parents and kids just to keep them from turning in the wrong direction. If a child has grown up with morals and beliefs, you can send her off to school/parties/friend’shouses… )and still not be sure what she will do. In this case, you are just now wanting to teach her to respect herself.
She has already formed some decisions and opinions about what she thinks and the pressure from her friends is probably stronger than the pressure and guidance you can give.
I would suggest talking to her without lecturing. Tell her that as a girl, you undrstand her need to gorw up and be independent. Explain to her (without insulting her intellegence) that she surely isn’t knowlegeable in how boys think. Tell her that if she lets a boy use her body for his pleasur, it doesn’t make her more grown up or independent. It only makes her used.
The key in talking to her is to not talk down to her. Kids respond better when they think the adult doing the talking understnands them. So let her know that you know how she feels and that since you are older, you want to share with her what you have learned. Tell her you want to share it because no one shared it with you and you wish someone had.
She needs to know you care and aren’t just lecturing.
Remember, put into her what you want her to hear. She will hear other things also, but she’ll at least have heard the good stuff, too.